On Christmas morning, I found out I was pregnant. My period was 3 days late (which wasn't unusual), but I thought if it was positive it would be a great Christmas gift. Before everyone woke up, I took the test and it was a big YES. I woke up Jay with the news and we spent the next few minutes relishing in our happiness. After four months of trying, we were so excited!
|Christmas Morning Excitement|
After Wyatt opened up his abundance of presents, we told our immediate family. We couldn't keep this exciting news in, plus it would be pretty obvious when I wasn't having any wine with dinner.
Everything seemed to be going perfectly well, I felt the same as I did with Wyatt. I had some minor cramping, and was a little moody and tired. I made my first appointment for when we moved to Tallahassee, and couldn't wait until that first ultrasound.
Jay left on Monday, January 12th to drive down some things to our house in Florida. I was 6 weeks pregnant. Wyatt woke up from his nap and I fixed his lunch then headed to the bathroom. I noticed some spotting and freaked out. No major cramps, no pain, just spotting. I new I had to get a Rhogam shot because of my O negative blood type. I called my doctor and they advised me to go to the ER.
Wyatt and I spent 5 long hours in the hospital. It was so hard being so anxious and dealing with my energetic toddler! I wasn't bleeding much, but my main goal was to get an ultrasound and the Rhogam shot and get out of there as quickly as possible. After waiting, taking vitals, waiting, ultrasound, waiting, results....I finally got my shot and some information. Poor Wyatt was "done, done, done". The doctor said they found a gestational sac on the ultrasound but no heart beat. He said it was still early, and it was possible I was still pregnant. Also, my hcg levels were showing I was about 6 weeks pregnant. I would have to go to my doctor to check my hormone levels in a week and have an ultrasound in 2 weeks.
Jay flew home late that night from the road to be with me. I was exhausted, scared and broke down. The next morning I went to the bathroom and the bleeding was very heavily. I knew I was miscarrying and I just sat there and cried.
I spent the next week going through the miscarriage, for me physically, it was not much different than a bad period. It was a sad week. I went to the doctor and took a pregnancy test, it was negative. She told me there was no way to tell what happened. The unknown is never fun, but unfortunately that's how it goes I guess.
One week later I was in Tallahassee and had an ultrasound to make sure everything looked okay. It was so sad walking into that office... I was supposed to be there to see my baby for the first time... but now it was to verify that there was not a baby. The good news was that I looked healthy and we could start trying again in a couple months.
Just writing this down made me cry. The last time I cried about my miscarriage was in that doctor's office, when after the ultrasound the doctor said, "I'm sorry for your loss". It has been about 6 weeks now since my miscarriage, and it has gotten better. I have hope that Wyatt will have an amazing sibling soon, and that he or she was meant to be in our lives just a little later than we had hoped. I can't wait for that day when our little family will be complete.